


Knit One, Purl One

by Glass_Oceans



Series: The Ficlet Collection [76]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 16:24:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glass_Oceans/pseuds/Glass_Oceans
Summary: The knitting AU that no one asked for





	Knit One, Purl One

**Author's Note:**

> Content notes: knitting AU, Crack

Hux crossed the wide expanse of the parish hall, ignoring the whispers and glances that always followed in his wake. He truly wished that there was another, more suitable forum where he could display his skills, but no, it was his lot to suffer, and in this case it meant the glares of the women who wondered at why he was allowed among their number, or worse, the ones who looked at him with thoughts of their granddaughters dancing through their heads. 

Hux repressed his shudder as he reached his allotted space, and carefully set down his presentation box. Lifting the lid, he smiled as he unfolded his craft entry; a pair of delicious hand knit socks, soft and pink and looking perfect outlined with pearlescent tissue paper. As he massaged the fibres between finger and thumb to ease out the creases as he displayed them, he glanced right and left, assessing the competition. As usual, there was nothing present that could match his standard, his neatness of st- dear lord, was that acrylic? Hux shook himself, fussing with the socks one final time before he forced himself to step back. The prize was as good as his. 

He accepted a cup of tea, watery stuff, palatable only through the many sugars he added to it, and waited for the competition to begin. He watched the judges enter the room, beset as usual by well wishers and those who thought their comments and laughs were anything but the transparent sycophantic nonsense Hux saw them for. He hid his sneer in his cup as the judges were lost in the crowd of lilac hair wash, until the crowd parted to admit someone new to their number. 

The man stood at least a head taller than all of the women present, easily as tall as Hux himself, and possibly twice as wide. What he was doing there Hux had no idea… until he moved with the usual two judges towards the yarn table. 

“No…” Hux felt the tea settle into a ball of ice in his stomach as the man began to review the items with the two women, carefully picking up the items to inspect them, and muttering comments which the head judge dutifully made note of. The small scraps of knitting looked utterly dwarfed in his hands, and as they neared Hux’s own entry, Hux felt a sense of dread creep up his throat until he was all but choked by it. As the man approached Hux’s own entry, Hux found himself propelled across the floor as if by an invisible force, until he stood facing the stranger. 

Hux was gratified to see the man hesitate, glaning to one of the women as she consulted her clipboard. 

“Ah, Mr. Ren, this is Mr. Hux,” she said, voice barely louder than a church mouse. 

“And this must be your entry,” the man said with a smile. 

“Yes,” Hux said tightly. “And it is quite delicate.”

The dark haired man glared at the socks. 

“Yes, well, that’s what you get for making such a mismatched project.”

Hux blinked rapidly. 

“I beg your pardon?”

“The socks,” Ren continued, “they’re-”

“Perfect,” Hux spat. “I think you’ll find they’re perfect, from your no doubt extremely limited knowledge-”

“Alpaca, right?” Ren asked. “And silk in there too from the shine on them. But this yarn wasn’t made for socks, so it’s not going to have any staying power if you actually wear them.”

“But,” Hux stammered. “How could you…”

“And the yarn is far too soft for the complicated pattern that you’ve chosen. I wouldn’t know it myself if I hadn’t have recognised the cables.”

“How dare you suggest that I made an error with this project!” Hux began, thought Ren was quick to cut him off. 

“I bet you used bamboo needles and everything.”

“And what,” Hux asked through gritted teeth, “is wrong with bamboo needles?”

“Nothing, I guess,” Ren said with a shrug, “but you’re not going to get the tension you need unless you use carbon core needles.”

“You’re a fucking yarn snob,” Hux said, loud enough that he could hear the ladies at the tea station gasp in the sudden silence. 

Ren grinned, leaning much too far into Hux’s space, watching his face carefully as he delivered his final insult. 

“I bet your stitches squeak on the needles.”

A red mist descended over Hux’s mind then, and he didn’t remember much more. 

The Countrywomen’s Association later told him he was banned for entering any more competitions, because although they, thanks to his efforts made the front page of the local paper, it was not in a manner any of them had wanted.


End file.
